I seriously believe that you meet people for a reason. Some become acquaintances, some accomplices. Some become your subject of attraction, some become the love of your life. Some leave to never return while some stay on forever – in memories sometimes.
Then there are some people that you feel an intense connection with. Its a mutual feeling. Unexpressed yet felt. Strongly. A glance exchanged, a smile traded or just the sound of comfortable silence. These people grow deep into your heart. You are connected by a cosmic energy – imagine a ray of blue and white light as bright as the tesseract – that binds only the two of you. That kind of connection.
You try out their favorite flavor of ice-cream and accept the fact that they hate cake – even if it makes you incredulous. You talk about anything and everything under the sun – fears, heartbreaks, passion, dreams and even failures. You let them drive you around and they let you play your favorite songs while they do so. You watch the outside world from inside the car in slow-mo and let them lip-sync to your favorite songs.
You manage to swallow each other’s quirks, gulp down each other’s awkward or irritable moods, console them and yourself about an addiction problem either of you have because you just want to accept each other the way you are. You wince through their lies, trying to convince yourselves that it is the only truth that exists in the world, even when you know its not.
Although you two are similar, you couldn’t be more different. You are an orange hue and they are a shade of purple. You are the morning, they are the night. you are plastic and they are wood.
You annoy them, they annoy you – but you somehow manage to tolerate them. You think they are hope, they think you are perspective. You think smile, they think eyes. You contradict, you complement, you co-exist.
There’s the catch. You CO-EXIST even though you don’t communicate. You think, hope and know they are okay, they’re safe, they’re fed, they have a bed to sleep in and a blanket to keep them warm. You also hope they remember you when they listen to a song they once shared with you or something they read on the internet that reminded them of you. You know they miss you at your now non-existent communication hour and you wish you could reach out somehow, but it feels like you are separated by worlds. There is no way you can break the barrier.
It so happens that when you develop such a relationship with another human entity, you sit in front of the barrier all day – waiting. Sometimes you are facing the barrier, sometimes you aren’t. Nevertheless, you expect them to try and break it but you seemingly can’t.
You mark the territory around the barrier and build towers and walls on your side. It becomes your fortress of solitude. Sometimes you enjoy it there. Sometimes it suffocates you. Sometimes you wander about feeling numb. Sometimes you scream your lungs out. The hope you thought they were, doesn’t seem true at all. A huge storm seems to engulf you but you feel weirdly safe in that fortress. Mostly because you know they can’t know how sad or hurt you are. You don’t want them to see you like that.
You want to be the orange hue. You want to be their perspective. You want to be the way you were before, just in case they break the barrier and you want them to find you in the state they most loved you in. You don’t want to let them down.
Time passes. Your fortress is turning into a ruin – some pieces getting burried deep into the earth of the heart. The barrier gets blurry and something drags you away from your fortress.
It’s not a something. It’s a someone. It’s one of them again.